Friday, February 13, 2015

215 Reasons Why Liberal's Suck...

My, but we're approaching rarefied air, here! Who would have thought that when this list first began, we had but 50 piffling reasons why Liberals suck? If anything, the continued existence of this list and it's prolific expansion are testimony to the continued powers of super-human suckitude possessed by the modern Progtard!

They should be proud.

Actually, they should be shot, but that's against the law, unfortunately.

Once again, I cannot claim credit for all of these; I have simply collected them from all over the place, and present them here for your reading pleasure.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

The (liberal's) Rejection of Religion...

Before I begin on this subject, I wish it to be known that I am not a godly person. Far from it. I do not hold to many traditional notions of Christianity, finding in them less a way of life than I usually interpret them as a consequence of mythology and long-useless tradition: the Pope sits on the Vatican Hill in Rome much as the Roman Pontifex Rex of yore did, a simple figurehead, to whom is attached much ceremony, superstition, and attribution of sacredness that is otherwise unwarranted -- as was true of his Roman prototype 1,000 years before.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is less religious man than politician. This is obvious if one reads the history of England with a critical eye, and if one takes note that the modern Archbishop has, for all intents and purposes, no bishopric -- the pews are empty, the English non-conformists never took the COE seriously, and the good Anglican simply selects which bits of dogmatic flotsam and jetsam best fit their version of bastardized Christianity (mostly the ones where they get to rationalize what would once have been considered sinful) --  and he becomes one more symbolic anachronism, a Man simply going through the motions of pomp and circumstance, in keeping with traditions that most people cannot recall the origins of. Nor do they care to recall.

Islam is obviously not a religion; it is a military code, at best, and at worst, it is a rationalization of the Nomadic Code of the Arabian Desert -- do unto others before they do unto you, and if they manage to do first, then whine like a bitch about what a victim you are while plotting your sneaky-ass-revenge-from-behind-because-you-have-no-balls. If Islam is anything, it is, at heart, a "me-too" religion; if the Jews can consider themselves chosen, and the Christians can be considered the only ones worthy of "saving", then we'll just co-opt their religion and reserve the same chauvinism for ourselves.

Friday, January 02, 2015

Changes Coming Soon!

Apologies to all the inmates. I've been away for far too long.

However, Life sometimes conspires to keep us from the things we really wish to do, and I have fallen victim to this dictum (that fucking rhymed!). Between (paying) work, Tess' health problems, and general apathy, the Asylum has been left to languish in the Internet version of Limbo for a while.

But no more!

Coming soon: a new design, more insanity, more caustic bullshit from the fevered imagination of Your's Truly.

Fasten your seat belts; it's about to get all sorts of crazy up in here.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

An Open Letter To An Inconsiderate Dumbass...

I know this has but little chance of succeeding, but it seems a good place to try to get some vicarious justice, and perhaps serve as a warning to all the other inconsiderate dumbasses of the world.
I want to thank the anonymous person who feels perfectly free to empty the contents of their car into my garbage cans, or simply dumps them on my lawn, at least once a week.


The two Sanitation summons I have received because someone put a bunch of aluminum cans in with my "normal" household trash, and on another occasion because loose trash was haphazardly tossed on the ground at the foot of my trash cans, were especially appreciated.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Douchebag of the Week (4/13/14): Eric Holder, Victim of Racism...

Pity Attorney General Eric Holder.

No, seriously.

It must be tough to live in an America which is so vilely racist that a member of a formerly-enslaved race can rise to become the Chief Law Enforcement Officer in all the land, with, apparently, no intention or clue as to how to actually, you know...enforce the law. Or maybe even understand it.

I mean, it can only have happened in someplace less-racist, like, say, Zimbabwe or China, that the son of Caribbean immigrants could grow up in the slums of New York, live a life of abject poverty in a hardscrabble fight for a decent life, be deprived of opportunity by the pernicious legacy of the slave trade, and then, by dint of hard work, inspiration, a do-or-die spirit, manage to raise himself up by his bootstraps to complete law school, to become a judge, engage in national politics, and then reach the very pinnacle of success by virtue of sheer competence and skill.

Yeah, that couldn't happen in racist America.

Then again, that's not Eric Holder's story, either.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

160 Reasons Why Liberals Suck...

The Hits just keep on comin'!

It has been a very long time since this list began with merely 50 Reasons Why Liberals Suck, and the passage of time has simply allowed the modern liberal (small 'l' intentional) to continue to demonstrate the very special species of brain injury that underlies their philosophical and ideological outlook on all things.

You can read the last iteration of this series, 145 Reasons Why Liberals Suck, here.

In the meantime, enjoy this expanded list and take a moment to have some pity upon the poor souls who...I hesitate to say "think"...in this fashion. And then realize that these assholes, at present, hold many positions of responsibility in the Modern World, and see if you can figure out just why it is that things seem so ingloriously fucked up.

And then get angry...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Bureauacracy Rampant...

I had occasion to accompany Tess to the New York City Department of Vital Records, yesterday, in an effort to recover some very important and necessary documentation, and was treated to a first-hand experience of just how stupid and quite redundant most public union...ahem...workers...are.

That picture on the left? That's a Rube Goldberg. For those who were born under rocks -- or after X-box, which is sort of the same thing -- Rube Goldberg was a cartoonist who used to create images of the most outrageous machines that performed the simplest of everyday tasks.  The point was to go to an extreme to avoid doing something simple and mundane. This one shows a machine that wipes somebody's mouth without them having to dirty their hands. This fairly describes the Bureaucracy of the City of New York: why work efficiently when you can add so many complicated steps to the process? And employ a lot of seemingly useless people while you're at it?

After all, it's only TAXPAYER MONEY, right?

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Apathy Explained...

My apologies for such a long absence. I normally would not have gone this long without making a post of any kind, but truth be told, I'm in a phase where I could really give a shit.
Sure, I could have posted 500 of the Obama/Pelosi/Liberals/Feminists/Muslims-Are-Stupid-type articles over the last month and a half. Heck, I can do that in my sleep. The problem is that it gets repetitive. One can only make the same self-obvious statements (well, to anyone with a pulse and a baboon-level IQ, that is) before one begins to feel as if there is no point to it. That is to say, there is no point in making the same points.

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Lunatic Will Be Back Shortly....

Apologies for lack of activity, but the Lunatic has been extremely busy this past month. A new stream of mental diarrhea is on track for next week. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Douchebag of the Week (1/25/14): Governor Andrew Cuomo

There's an old saying in these parts, that is, on Staten Island, the Forgotten Borough of New York City, that the "apple does not fall far from the tree."

In our crankier and less-forgiving moments, this saying is often modified thusly:

"The turd doesn't fall far from the asshole..."

Oh, how we have been blessed here in New York State! We have had the distinct pleasure (about as pleasurable as having your ass shaved with a cheese grater and then having lemon juice poured on the wound) of living under the enlightened despotism of two Cuomos. First, there was Mario (the Asshole), and now, we suffer under the misguided stupidity that is the regime led by his son, Andrew (The Turd).